Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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