Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
