It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
