you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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