On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize