How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
