Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
