Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
