You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
