I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
How's work?
Spinning.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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