she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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