Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
