I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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