You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
