It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
