wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
