Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
