while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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