I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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