Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
