We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
