I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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