Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
