I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
