i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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