she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
