somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize