The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
