He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
