the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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