I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
