you mean i was at the winter classic?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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