i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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