I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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