Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
