YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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