i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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