he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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