Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
