remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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