i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
