dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
