If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
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