the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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