I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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