Pants 0. Shit 1.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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