Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
