I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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