Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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