So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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