omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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