I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
he puts the penis in happiness.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
