Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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