I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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