i think i have herpe
just one?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
