is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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