just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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