I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
