I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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