nut hugger
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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