would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
