this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
