But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
